Welcome Brain J. It was 2009 my father had just died. My mother was suffering with dementia and becoming very hard to handle. Feb. of that year I went to KM school at Patterson for PO,s. With all this going on I was waking up about what I was seeing. So here I was a born-in, almost 25 years as a elder and PO for 3 years. I was a nervous wreck not knowing what to do. What help me the most was coming to this site and reading what others did to fade and help their mates to fade with them.
I can't add to the advice everyone here gave you. It is all sound advice. Just take it slow. The idea given to you to study with your family by putting in thinking critical thinking will help you. But very little pieces at a time. Also in a very methodical way work at stepping down from being the COBE then let some time go by then step down as a elder. For me it took 2 years to do this. By gong slowly this will take a lot of the focus off of you.
Everyone experience is different but similar. Use what will work for you and your family. Get plenty of rest, eat healthy and take care of your mental and emotional health. Always try to have a positive attitude on what you are doing. I won't lie to you, it is hard but will worth it. Take care and best wishes for you and your family. Still Totally ADD